Posted 11:21 AM by Brian McCloskey
DECEMBER 2000
Can I have one to surge with? For there were only two windows on the city and the buildings ate me. These are the instruments of sex outdoors. That does it: no more contact with the human race. How can the same street intersect with itself? We do not provide housing for the pigeons. They can save the dying population of an invisible planet by bringing them a chicken. The rustle of skirts, the sound of a kiss. I like your house. Why is that mirror sneezing? If life gives you a lemon, you’re crazy. That is not a door, it is a wall, stupid. I was admiring that colossal shirt. Push the blue side up. Apparently I’m a big whore. She has to be squeezed immediately before she explodes. The ironing is delicious. The dancers were luminous, languid and dreamy. The gun is stupid. A tiger in each knee. Rendered mute as a child by eating a can of expired pineapple. No thanks, I already own a penguin. Somebody want to lose the duck? You are a bundle of energy, always on the go. And the star you fall in love to comes out on Christmas Eve. I love these new suspenders. Rotate my arms 36 times. Don’t throw heads at me. We’re in a tight spot. I was occasionally allowed to feed the giraffes. A nice slice of toast would really hit the spot now.

Posted 11:20 AM by Brian McCloskey
NOVEMBER 2000
What’s wrong with nice, thick, black tights anyway? At the moment of dancing, basically we are not thinking. Erotic photographs of women unlacing corsets or rolling down stockings. I think I have to kill a pig. I hope you never die. Have her come to us in stirring nakedness. So I adore you, you and this that you make. Every one of his poems was about his undying love of pickles. People just really enjoy sex. Find me if you love me. I kissed her now, her mouth, her brow, her eyes. These are my boating analogies. Is the item still with you? You are beautiful and you are alone. Where would I find a beaver that big? And sturdy black tights were considered the height of erotic decadence. These guys have a party every day knees sexy. Your arms are four rivers. I’d like to sleep with Nancy. Putting on a pair of tights. My wife has an inner ear infection. I want to fall asleep holding you tonight. He accidentally fell face first into her capacious breasts. The boy is in the yellow house. I’m throwing rocks tonight. The problem is seeing the fish. Trees are schizophrenic now and beginning to lose control. (it’s the same wind) across your hot, wet breasts. The rabbit got away. I have my bungalow.

Posted 11:20 AM by Brian McCloskey
OCTOBER 2000
Make a statement with these exquisite leg coverings. My particular acorn is looking at very expensive artwork right now. Open Your Body and Love Yourself. It’s usually warm and sunny in Los Angeles. I’ve walked in and out of so many buildings. Back to you in the stewed glee. You’ve dropped your rock. Take Nancy’s breasts. He believes that breast is alive. Young lovers summon one another by throwing shoes at bedroom windows. And one minute is a long time. Try shimmery or metallic hose with high heels. Chloe pulls off her tights. I kissed you and my heart began to melt. At first her warmth felt good between my legs. I threw a chicken at myself and fainted so I couldn’t see me. Your teeth inside my mouth is good. Are you also divergent, friend? A lavender metallic shoe with a pretty purple stocking could be fun. I was checking out the lingerie ads. Trust me, it has everything to do with the pig. To create the world’s most perfect trouser. Pressed against the wall, her heavy silk skirts hoisted around her waist. Living without you is difficult. For I have seen the nipple on your soul. Little of what we have believed has been true. My lips drank oblivious love at yours. She pops her stockings and pushes her stockings languorously down over her legs. Why is this woman talking about my shoes?

Posted 11:20 AM by Brian McCloskey
SEPTEMBER 2000
Not to do anything, just to be with you. I'm Gorgeous Inside. An affinity for steel and iron is a gift. There's a lemon behind that rock. Is there a girl in this story? I want large bread. The one I seek is seeking me. And comes to rest in between the breasts of a Spanish cowgirl. But my stickman has a banjo. Kind of mind behind. Sometimes romantic obsession is uncomfortable. I led you here, sir, for I am Spartacus. I've never had a really good pickle. Some seats may not exist. It's time to write the script, already. Even my nuts are frozen. Family in front of rural general store. I took a meatloaf and started slapping the monkey. And you want to be my latex salesman? Almost everything is a waste of time. I am the best skier, having several trophies. Take dead aim on the rich boys. I will hold you in my arms and never let you go. The windowpanes were crying. What's the deal with lampshades? Don’t let their sharp hooves! There are seven levels. And now you have made me the duck. The breasts are impressive. Your room is real.

Posted 11:20 AM by Brian McCloskey
AUGUST 2000
This chicken should be ashamed of himself. She likes lingerie but he prefers the sombrero. There's a quality of serenity in Finnish tearooms that you just can't argue with. Them's stockings you're wearing, not tights. I want to be nuzzled. Thank you for reminding me what colour are the eyes of love. The wall just exploded. I was the one getting groped by your monkey. The neck is so much more erotic. Orifice pour crayon. Would you like to take a nap with me? Don't sell that cow. I look over my shoulder, but there's no one following. I am staying put for reasons my heart knows. She keeps stroking our chicken. Worker bees can leave. I bet he's never touched a cow in his life. Don't invert stuff. No wonder I couldn't find Omaha. Pulling her clothes up, wrenching the brown stockings. This lingerie makes me feel. There goes the point. Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss. Tell the oven I love her. Dance; ball; washing; custard; magic ships. And it may be that love sometimes occurs without pain or misery. But the real danger lies with the camels. It's important to have clean money. I've never found anything worth keeping. This lingerie does it for you. The girls are all so pretty.

Posted 11:20 AM by Brian McCloskey
JULY 2000
It turned me into a wide man. You're sweeter than a rose and I want a little hug. The waitress should have taken it back. I'm not made of airports. Tin gets everywhere these days. By the way, I love you. There's no one else I would rather be kissing. I only have one glove. You are the honey in the lion. It's a very long day, the tights are uncomfortable. I wanted to touch you so many times. A whole fish is so much more dramatic. This feeling is expressed in bags. Which was desire to be felt deeper than flesh than can feel. Two tears in a bucket. I have eighteen anuses. He brought his own pillow with him from home, and put celery in it. Nothing here but: I Kiss You. I know about the cups. Are you guys using your jelly? Consider it stepped on. My raccoon had hepatitis. Music is one of those wonderful things that makes life worth living. He would forever have a particular fixation with breasts. He ate green gorillas. This is hitting me where I need to be hit. If I were a tree, I'd be afraid of libraries. And when I kiss you, you'll see yourself what a wonderful person you are. You have enchanted me with a single kiss. Red tights disappear and reappear. The winning egg will be the one that's ready to be eaten.

Posted 11:19 AM by Brian McCloskey
JUNE 2000
Slinky thing making faint sizzling sound. I love you because you are what you are. I love pineapple. Kissing my feet is nice. Hurling yourself from a moving car should be a last resort. How can you explain the frame? The fellow who taught me is now President of Venezuela. Or the naked guy covered in breadcrumbs. I'm not a good fish. But the little green wheels are following me. And owls fly out of oven doors. That's just asking for lizards. Exploding thighs she was lipstick in tears. Dress sexy at my funeral my good wife. And this is for coming back. We need a sound wall. You really want to out bags on the shelf. Those hands beneath the silk of my dress, under flimsy satin and lace. Would you please stop doing that with your hat? The pizza spy in the food warmer. I bet they make it home before the pies. We had no obligation to explain the pillow. Sexy wrestler's boobs explode. Love has touched me in a beautiful way. Why are there children walking on my head? Martha wasn't there, so I masturbated in the tree. Don't you like any other bits? You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.

Posted 11:19 AM by Brian McCloskey
MAY 2000
A man without hand is not a hand. It isn't the sex, it's the words. The teapot will not break its bonds. Always speak to a horse before approaching him. All I want now is happiness for you and me. Now I've let myself love you. I can't get any holders for my share. He just likes to wear dresses. Never walk downhill toward a helicopter. You have to drink some of the blue and show me your tongue. Up to their quivering breasts and their laughing faces. None of my children are famous. That bird is crabby. Together forever we shall be. He's trying to buy back a loaf of his soul. Prunes and an unfinished merlot. The leg is soft and hugs the shape of the leg well. Get my brown pants. Two astronauts from the sun landed in my yard. If I was wearing a dress, things were easier. Each boat contained something precious - often there was a small flower inside. And then there's the shipwreck over there. Who told you to put the cheese on? The sad lad falls. Dirty, but popular. Sex is particularly more important than administrative work. Colourless green ideas sleep furiously. We’ll have some breakfast. Unfairness smelled like onions. The nakedness of woman is the work of God. Can I hug you on the bus?

Posted 11:19 AM by Brian McCloskey
APRIL 2000
She had a deep interest in kinky, perverted sex. What does my daughter have to do with crocodiles? The music I am hearing now is warming my heart. The building will protect itself. Mutual touching and stroking are essential. I'm as sad as a sad Egyptian. The perception of perflection. An entire Irish soccer team. The man put his mouth to the woman's breast and kept it there. What the hell does she want with half a boat? I'll let you out if you’ve made enough saxophones. Kisses on her neck, her breasts through her dress. The sad milkman in love with the moon. Breasts abound, but no more than do women's faces. And then stay in their sexy lingerie. What is a snail's fury? This hotel is full of misunderstandings. Did I have to read something about rabbits having a picnic? Gone to wake up the sparrows. Trying out what it feels like to be desperately in love. Same item appears twice. And real musicians can tell he's playing more from the left buttock than the right. Looking for love, falling in love. They could buy paper and tape it to the wall. Whether they make sense or badger. I'm wearing a lot of hats these days, but I'm loving it. Come with us and watch naked girls dance around. Excellent for making up stories and composing slogans and marching music. Look how square it is. How can you sit there and call pigeons saddles when tall grass saddles the fairies' wings so easily?

Posted 11:19 AM by Brian McCloskey
MARCH 2000
Sometimes people will dispute the release. I hope I don't die today because then this horrible diary will be all I have to show for my life. I admire your notion of fair odds. It's about the heart. What to think about when you wear clothes. A natural expression of a man's love for his lady. I've been flying my helicopter naked. Freckle's ugly cousin. He lost his thumb to sugar. I want to know what the hell the blueberry's doing. I love ladies. Those are very vigorous numbers. I get physically sick looking at these numbers. I like the orange truck. Most of the plot tends to be just filler for the story line. This is going to be a shame. Don't get up gentlemen, I'm only passing through. Are we driving through plutonium? My house on fire in the midday sun is more than I can watch. It would have to be the puff. You can only ignore two giant lemons for so long. She knelt in front of him and helped him on with a pair of nylons. The candy house is finished. She's an urban nun and she hates the countryside. They pour the red moth. Chips enlarged to show texture. It's always fun. It would have been so much bad for me. Why separate knob? I have now and again thought about keeping a corpse. Ivory field for hands lost in egg.

Posted 11:19 AM by Brian McCloskey
FEBRUARY 2000
Dangling, dipping and playing with high heels, pantyhose, stockings. Pulp couldn't make it across the table. He was playing me like he'd play a fish. My tennis shoes are old. Itchy mesmerising dance. It never made me happy before. Most purchasers could identify the correct usages for the tights. How do locations like the machines? A world of sexy feet clad in shiny pantyhose and silky stockings. Immoral symbol of shameless worship. Invent a dance, bake a pie or throw some in the sea. A wild animal has clawed on leather. We have to be kissing - close. Symbolises the love of the heart. There was a wet sort of explosion, audible for several miles. And walk out with a box of raisins. They never saw anybody go after balls with such gusto. Held your hands to my shining eyes and smiled as you kissed me. The art of lifting her skirt over her ankles. You will not drown. It's more fun than it looks. Six beautiful women will show you their panties. The universe will help me. A pair of feminine feet in black hosiery. I'm torn between the desire to create and the desire to destroy. And completing it with the midget imitating Judy Garland. In the matter of gravy he is adamant. And stay away from those squirrels. Well, it was somebody's arm.

Posted 11:18 AM by Brian McCloskey
JANUARY 2000
A life without love is like a year without summer. And you'll never use metal utensils again, even though you want to. Only the seven or so lines that defined the frog. And you were just about to blossom. It's a very indecisive omelette. A mosquito who sucks is one who chews. I got no problem with peanuts. This is how Brian relieves the pressure of being Brian. There is more than glass between the snow and the huge roses. Did you dunk the spatula? Are they both tangerines? You can watch the whole town turn to gold. A stuffed alligator explodes against the face of the singer. People get tired of the pig. But it did happen. My wife hands these poems back to me with a sigh. You should have more than a few bras in rotation. Let me lick other pens. Controlled floundering is pedagogy. They look exactly like keys. With a twist of lemon. I feel terribly sorry for the goats. I forget what these peppers represent. A fleshy, clear, red lip - something that makes you want to kiss the mouth. China is a big country. It's a good job they killed him. They fly in the water. The sea asleep at night. Women go out with thin stockings. I live by the river. A man and woman cannot kiss or hug if they're not married.

Posted 11:18 AM by Brian McCloskey
DECEMBER 1999
Soldiers take wilted vegetables. I like to put on something soft and silky. Every nipple, thumb and anus springs from his imagination. I was drugged and left for dead in Mexico. I've been hugged. My troika was pursued by wolves. She is sucking my tongue. My grandfather was a big sneezer. Everyone must put beans on the table. A naked girl exhausted from sex. What killed this dead mouse? Our brains are in danger. I made a mistake. And some old toothpaste from her grandmother suddenly gets terribly cold. I thought we could just cuddle. Man with mutated left arm is fishing. Could you always be sleek and sensual? It's just a building thing. I found a piano. Who's having sex with the hen? But despite the history lesson, she doesn't have his horn. Your grace is totally amazing. I put my plate on someone's piano. What I could smell was a pot of boiling underpants. She can't stop screaming during sex. He had a face like a giant fist. Then all that was, was fair. Life of mine, I love you. Four arms, two necks, one wreathing. Limbs that even flexed nervously in black hose stretched to breaking point. The joy of love is in loving.

Posted 11:18 AM by Brian McCloskey
NOVEMBER 1999
That would be terrific. And swooping down to kiss your head. He took it out. Sheer stockings stop you from leaving the house. Read what I wrote on my shirt. I will remember you upon my couch. Take it easy, be waited on, and have sex twice a day. Nobody is important and everything is a farce. Didn't you hear me grunt when I hit the tree? I should like to try this kiss. The stomach of what appears to be a bear. I had a piece of wood in my hand. (Kiss). Subvert the dominant paradigm. Start with the thing. Our hands tingled when we both touched the same potato. Stockings…Heels…Lace…Lips…Breasts. I'm going with the almonds again unless you can talk me out of it. There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. Gum would be perfection. She asks the maestro to teach her the unstoppable thrust. Tonight, my love, we'll share a sweet embrace. Carve. The Buddha and Christ dancing on the nose of a bishop. Don't forget to ask for a pair of socks. I live in bed. The fat man and the sprinkler are soon together. We like the girls with the cellophane chests. Hits himself on the head. Don’t you just love that first kiss?

Posted 11:18 AM by Brian McCloskey
OCTOBER 1999
This bag was just dancing with me. Or once. Is this not a plant? I'm making small paddles. Nothing more attractive than women's breasts. The air will be filled with fur and spittle. I want to hold your lizard. It's my forest too. Let the beauty we love be what we do. The mountain is eating itself. Regrettably he discovered parrots. I swear I adore you, forever live inside of me. I am Jill's nipple. Desire still alight, and hope extinguished. Jam life into death. Grab her and kiss her. I just caught the dismount. Getting lost in you again is better than being found. I'm Uncle Harry and I still have my teeth. You know I'll never be lonely. We have an organist capable of stirring the soul. You have him smoking a Welsh girl. There's a smell of paint in here. She's our mutual Omaha dream. Will you please agitate the bees? You're jealous of me and my fancy dance steps. I feed two pigs in containers. Some candles, a mirror and a couple of squirrels. Must be one of those new doors.

Posted 11:17 AM by Brian McCloskey
SEPTEMBER 1999
These homes are called igloos, but no matter where you live. A couple of days of sex, sex and more sweaty hot sex. Waking up and seeing you by my side is wonderful. Never burn your arms again. Know that in some sense you are already dead. Do you want to be encouraged by the neck? It's half a bra. An array is the thing. Sick geese. A bad day fishing is better than a good day dying. Two makes a wing. I wish I could remember my name. You can get hurt very easily with that submarine. You seem to know your way around women's underwear. The dress came back from the dead. I heard the trees saying something else. That is not merely a duck up on that pedestal. Does anybody have any questions? I've been learning how to light a fire. Putting boxes next to bumpy things. A person and a person walk into a place. I crouched down low and let him have the silver swan in the groin. People are shaving penguins left and right. I am mad, therefore I am. Ready to be and do whatever you desire. The night is upon us my love. Try to be nicer to God. I need some kind of sock or something. I killed my monkey. You will each be provided with a leotard and a spear.

Posted 11:17 AM by Brian McCloskey
AUGUST 1999
Your kiss, your fingers on my thigh. A truly devoted man. Touch me in the morning. A lot of people are happy during kissing. Who's got my cat? The brown ones are feet. They were very flexible. You create me against your thighs. It's time to wake up. And here is my heart which beats only for you. Tuesday has no feel. Jugglers don't save the world. But mostly prefers wallaby. I could have missed. Everything will be made of one thing, and love will be safe. Sex goes on and on and on. I'm surrounded by women. The tart taste of lemon is a perfect complement to the blueberries. And these two are my breasts. They don't have meetings about rainbows. There was no salt. To be held firmly in her arms, to be caressed slowly, slowly, slowly. I have sensitive nipples. These girls have been shining all week. Or else what? Love or die. A piece of blue sky just fell on my head. The passionate intimacy of a married couple who have not, perhaps, made love for some time. From up here, this is what it looks like. Nice person in need. A new concept for an exciting sex life.

Posted 11:17 AM by Brian McCloskey
JULY 1999
Gnomes chase after Tom. Some people thought it was an ugly plant. One dead fingernail. The fog comes on little cat feet. Everyone has a song in their heart. The waffle pattern is familiar. How do you get a guy outta China? He hugs her forever. How do you get paint off a frog? And the flags were wrong. I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen. I don't know how a fish could eat laughs. Climb back under that cow. Jemima has brought a yak. It's getting easy not to suffer all the time. But then he loses his stuffed sheep and must rescue it. I wouldn't want anyone else. Her brassiere's snaps are in the front. Don't we have a deal with the pigeons? Rounded at the free end. I must come up with a small disease. I'm full of desire for you. This is where I am. I'm so tired of hearing about that tractor. The pebble is a perfect creature. It is important to be lyrical and joyous. It makes the day seem shorter. Her body is a honey bowl. I am not going to apologise to a tree. We could spend the rest of the day on your chin. Trees are the answer.

Posted 11:17 AM by Brian McCloskey
JUNE 1999
Things hurt, and growing up is hard, but kissing helps. You're getting your fingerprints all over my dogs. This bee wants to kill itself. There are no other guys attached to me. I have your butterfly. Everything happens for the first time. I love you forever and a day - a long, long day. It would be best for men to have sex with more than ten women a night. You are the world. You can paint yourself bright green all over, and dance naked. I'm no seismologist either. I got stuck in your dirty pillows. He takes a dove from her mouth and puts it over her heart. It was certain that there was not a rhinoceros in the room. Look at the raspberry. What colour is blue? It's tough keeping your feet dry when you're kicking in a skull. His fetish for photographing penguins becomes tiresome. The love I have for you I cannot deny. In that woman there's a heart I love. I'd rather kiss a basketball. And before that you were bumped by a lizard. That was some kiss. And reached the wall of underwear. How to have happy spine. I think a trip to Hawaii would really improve our sex life. Boy laughs and computer burns. I cut velvet for forty years. The kitchen was filled with the suggestive smell of hot metal. There never was a dog.

Posted 11:17 AM by Brian McCloskey
MAY 1999
A morbid dislike for cleaning fish. I built it for my pig. I love you…I love you…I love you. He chose poorly. The milk was frozen. A look of ecstasy comes over his face at the softness of the bed. It’s certainly got buckets of fire. I wrote a poem on a dog biscuit. I’ve a reason to believe we all will be received. Is it normal for your teeth to make noises? Don’t forget this is all about me. One of them started to lift her breasts in both hands. Lingerie lessons and kissing strategies. Why do voles fall in love? I also like bananas. I saw a beautiful horse grazing with two heads. The thinnest pig eats the finest acorns. I got you in my heart. Missed your kiss. Ants don’t like cucumbers. Love never dies. Get rid of your stupid boyfriend. To stare at nothing is to learn by heart. I find your lack of pants disturbing. But one day he was savagely attacked by two demented children. I’ve seen when my heart wants to scream. We both just saw the same monkey. Someone went and stole my knees. Maybe the housework fairies took him away. You got the instinct of a herring. We don’t believe in walls here.

Posted 11:16 AM by Brian McCloskey
APRIL 1999
Radiant in taffeta and carrying a birdcage. You’re nothing to me. I must be out, or I’d pick up the phone. Have you hugged your horse today? I will always have a small head. If I were perfect, you’d love me. Finally, we can breathe. A handsome Hispanic male cups her breasts with his palms and outlines her nipples with his tongue. This is an example of my shoe. I was born to love music. I was looking at you with a loving smile. Long passionate kisses in lonely places. I’m sitting on a mountain of stumps. And I have a little cow. My bowels will wait no longer. Cutlery falling into a bath and the static from a cheap radio? Please keep your children away from this sign. Touch it, sniff it, rub it against your cheek. She is the horizon and all my thoughts end in her. Borrowing things from my blood. I loved before I met you and I met you just in time. I hope my pony knows the way home. Turn your head and cough. I want to be your foam peanut. Leave the cactus alone, son. The mind is a monkey and honey so am I. Me and Al Capone are the best bootleggers in Chicago. He ends up having sex with her in a cheap hotel. It goes to a mysterious, paranormal lightbulb area. Makes extra money as a flamingo.

Posted 11:16 AM by Brian McCloskey
MARCH 1999
I think it’s gonna go out like an aardvark. This is the key to everything. The girl swung gently in the embrace of the goat. I heard the dandelions roar in Piccadilly Circus. Punk rock comes to Nashville. Someone keeps moving the orange trees. You are the queen of queens of beauty. Now the dog is prancing in the fields. Love’s the greatest thing that we have. You will hear nothing but music. Father won’t you carry me, for my boat is so small. That table is definitely wrong. The toe of a nylon stocking. How do we get the lizard out of the rock? Some people die and then there’s a picnic. A really big wet bear. You wonder what her pantyhose feel like. Like some huge monster horse balanced on a giraffe. Chicks with bricks and blocks and clocks come. I like kissing that and that of you. Seeking with hopeless incantation for her lost milk cow. When you’re alone in your mind, you’re on enemy territory. The timeless art of seduction. The man who wears gray neckties and is kind to mice. Some lady just handed me a wet piece of toast. Here we hold on to our overcoats. What kind of nut has a shell like this? An octopus looks like a table and chairs. I am the absence of field. I’ve already assembled one kitten. There are scientists in Finland right now.

Posted 11:16 AM by Brian McCloskey
FEBRUARY 1999
All the comedians were happy. If someone offers you some sugar, you should eat it. Your love is my one desire. It promises light like the careful undressing of love. You do not aspire to reach the nose. It can only become stairs. The house was quiet because it had to be. Pardon my rubber. Pets don’t die every year. I’ll be in the kitchen talking to the crab. Even a blind pig finds an acorn. Lost ferret. What happened to the special banana? I love the cows best when they are a few feet away. I’m pointing at my chest now. You got more cow here than here. I wish I was taller. Tender is the touch of someone that you love too much. I agree I prefer the long skirt. A man with a limp, a genius for glass, and too many owls. And the end of the road is a flower which walks with you. I know a girl who takes my breath away. I was born in a lighthouse, my mother was the sea. It crawls around town and tells everyone to eat lobster. Then I would unleash her chocolate breasts. Have you seen my nipples? Everybody loves elephants. Decomposing trousers cut from the stomach of a whale.

Posted 11:16 AM by Brian McCloskey
JANUARY 1999
Plaid halibut. Keep your heart softer than your head. He is one. She was cooking dinner for God. Standing is good for jumping up and down. According to one theory, a woman’s waist should be. Two lovers, masked and entwined, leap across time. I couldn’t hit a cow’s ass with a banjo. Last evening we went dancing and I broke your leg. And I felt like I’d been shot in the tomato. Mom and I use our large breasts to get ahead. The swirl adds a surprise sensation. We both know it can significantly affect someone’s cursive standard. To party naked on a birthday cake. How’s it going to end? I eat an orange every day, and that brings me great peace of mind. Every fibre of your being is loved by every fibre of my being. Everything is a clue. So who painted you purple, and put you in a box? These pretzels are making me thirsty. Why do we kiss? I hate when the zebras do that. I think it tends more towards lobster. Most people are idiots. Here are some places that the bees like to go. And you’re here in my bathroom and my lingerie will go on. I broke the covenant of the key. The differences between scissors. You’ll be always in my heart. She woke up the next morning and her ears were missing. My tulip onion in the brain.

Posted 9:58 AM by Brian McCloskey
DECEMBER 1998
If the child’s element is fire, the clashing colours are black and blue. Maybe the baby would like to see the spot. An extra thing of brown gravy. It’s like something. I’d love to run barefoot through your hair. A phenomenon which the scientists could never explain. Or is it just what it’s like to be the only real thing in a thousand worlds? People with guns don’t understand. Hang in there, baby. Our eyes met, our souls danced. There are things best displayed by concealment. Come see our lizards dance. A big box fell to the floor. I have never seen any quicksand. Do you have any stockings? We won’t stop until we have underpants. You made me drop my toad. They dance before they learn there isn’t anything that isn’t music. A magical talking dragon flew down from the moon. I drew a tree with little hearts on it. Three days ago a box of apples arrived. Your glockenspiel has sprung to life. Sock your knocks off. A bridegroom rejoices in his bride. I have no recollection of the horse. Everything goes to sleep. For all curious Americans. This city’s got big buildings! My hair’s green and I’m a tree. Come out to where I am. I dropped a grape.

Posted 9:57 AM by Brian McCloskey
NOVEMBER 1998
Why are you lying on my blanket? I can’t figure out where her head would. And a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken. A social worker who can fly and generate intense blasts of heat and flame. Slightly sweet, slightly tart. Then, shouldn’t you be wearing the bucket? The skin of a robot vibrates with pleasure. Love makes all things possible. Cats represent wild sex. A lot of questions on hunting and testicles. I’m losing my perspicacity. Especially underwear that is red and maybe has a few diamonds in it. Passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. None of them really care whether you get any sugar or not. Don’t fold the maps. They put you alone in a room with a dead horse. He moved into a motel and the cat eventually died. A pair of stockinged legs, light glossing over silk over pearly skin. You’ve got to learn to clear your bubbles under combat conditions. I think you can reach them yourself. Right now it’s a vehicle for a man. If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year at college. I like picking beans with grandma. Do we now have the same number of apples? A bra is for ladies. Nothing bounces like a phony turkey. No doctor would put that on his car. Why are you running a motel for goats? The dog is green. You try skating and blowing into a jug while your heart’s breaking.

Posted 9:57 AM by Brian McCloskey
OCTOBER 1998
It seems a pity, but I do not think I can write more. He had feet in his face. I think maybe you have a faulty dog. I can’t hear you, but can I have two goldfish? Did he ever write a poem where he gave her two extra breasts? I asked if I could help and they handed me a horse. When ribs are outlawed, only outlaws will have ribs. Before I knew her name, I knew I loved her. I wasn’t really going to throw rocks at your beautiful doughnut! I know the difference between flat and round. Shimmering tights. Fall before my huge sword of submission. Beware of falling. Is it significant that I eat bananas as I write this? Love is a touch, a glance. And don’t have mothballs in the room while you’re making love. I love you, I love you, I love you, I kiss you, I kiss, I can’t believe you’re mine I can’t believe you’re mine. I, am so, delicious. Her blood is exquisite when enflamed with passion. And justice was chasing a shoe salesman 80 miles across a desert. Princess Jones then ate her family. Just look at the way those supple red lips stay open just a little when she sleeps. Happy the husband of a really good wife. I do. Her name, at the time, was Nancy. Every house is doing something to us. Where great whales come sailing by sail and sail with unshut eye around the world forever. I could see through the hole in the nose. Then a beautiful lady walked through fire to tell me she liked me. Nothing has changed since I began. Maybe we’ll get lucky with a shark.

Posted 9:57 AM by Brian McCloskey
SEPTEMBER 1998
They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. Great eating pinks. You’re good to go. He’s a cowboy who’s married to a bodybuilder. One time I threw a rock at the monkey. We have to eat the leftover chicken salad. We literally beat the bushes in the whole neighborhood. The artist stood naked and wrapped in a sheet inside a cage. A big scary monster will eat you. If you’re bleak, you’re bleak. Reproduction made easy. Nothing is always. Gum is fun, but not on a cat. My love is my soul’s imagination. Wearing clothes through which her nipples were clearly visible while gyrating in a sexually suggestive manner. I have an amazing hat collection. Kiss, hug and love all night long. To be in love is what I want from life. Into every life some rain must fall. Not everybody wears boots in Texas. Why am I on a Japanese box? You’re the song my heart would sing. You’re very colourful. I don’t want a big flat noodle. You sold live to your friends? I cringed when my pick got stuck in my zither. Indeterminately often, on, over or beneath a sometime. And my pants are filled with starfish. My chair repulses you. This Vietnamese prostitute can really ride a bull.

Posted 9:57 AM by Brian McCloskey
AUGUST 1998
No, France is not the best place to be a gooseberry. One thing I remember was the cow that flew past me. Most men prefer satin and lace, traditional ideas of what’s girlie. Are you the policeman who hasn’t eaten? Six weeks after making love on the giant, I fell pregnant. I don’t cry for the small boat. I think it’s the fishnet stockings. A solitary bee that builds its nest of mud. Romantic love is definitely here to stay. In the pink boudoir of a vast castle, a woman lies on pink satin sheets. Two clammy, sweaty bodies rolling together. Or am I destined to walk the dog forever? Sex makes woman more beautiful. Your time has come: the time for love. I miss your lips, your hands, your whole warm and strong body and your face and your smiles, your voice. I shall make a great queen. We shall all be feeding baby hedgehogs unless we stop burning. A giant anvil is threatening the state of Kentucky. We were destined for each other, so keep your heart for me. Wherever I go, whoever I’m with, I’m thinking of you. Your breasts are just as firm and juicy. Unimportant moments last forever. If I’m wearing sexy underwear, I feel great. This book is not a toy. Kiss me again, rekiss me and kiss me. Taken away by Nancy. What is wrong with a little kiss between friends? The woman is like an artichoke. A dragon followed me back to the shops. What I’d like is I like to hug and kiss you. Bad luck to you and your chickens, you old fool.

Posted 9:57 AM by Brian McCloskey
JULY 1998
So I tied an onion to my belt. Your head turned down to mine and, brushing against my ear, you whispered something. She slammed her breasts on my head and just about knocked me out. All I really want is a big hug. The horses just don’t gossip anymore. Always will I love you - my one, my love, my all. Wrapping a kettle in toilet paper and leaving it on the lavatory. The most intense joy lies not in the having but in the desiring. Now the gerbils are all on board. This rope is soft and pretty. A priest dresses up as an ape and gets laid. I think I’ll stay here all alone and dress up in my mum’s old clothes. Breasts dipped in varying depths of water. It’s meant to make you buy the underpants. He slipped his head under her skirt, hid himself between her legs and began to kiss her. While my heart is beating my love for you will last. Not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails. A woman’s face never looks more beautiful than when she has just made love. Did you kindly bury my cat? The air is so full of sea and the sea so full of air. Sensuous, creamy layers of lace and silk expose her ivory back and firm, round neck. With arms around each other, kissing and rubbing noses. Monk’s toffee ends elephant mayhem. The trampoline I have now is good. The sensations you love, skin against skin, being touched and kissed. The fish was hung from wooden pegs bear the chimney. Yes, they kicked their legs and showed their knickers. The deceptive caress of a giraffe. That drink does not exist. The wild, weird and tender mysteries of truly making love. I happen to be attracted to orange breasts.

Posted 9:56 AM by Brian McCloskey
JUNE 1998
They weren’t allowed to touch his face. An old man at a young woman’s breast. I can just grab any set of ankles and run? I thought it was rather an imperious goose. I keep thinking it's Tuesday. All underwear is sexy. Some strange gypsies stole my shoes. If it’s oblivion they want, they could surely have orgasms. Give me a large comfy bed and a beautiful woman any day. We do today what we have to do today. It’s so round and cute and cuddly. Every girl must purchase a skirt. Stockings, brassiere, dress. I don’t want no one but you to love me. I can’t sleep at night, thinking about you. It takes many years of making love to experience this absolute confidence and to know someone so very intimately. When you kiss a young woman whose skin is soft, really very soft, you get excited. Start out by kissing and stroking and teasing each other until you two can’t stand it any more. An image of a writhing couple slithers its way over the bed. Or shall I just kiss you? And the youngest boy has started dressing up in women’s clothing. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. Girls in panties - fantastic pictures. Do you have a monkey in your pants? The unique nature of the female breast, which behaves like a kind of moving liquid. I will hold your artificial leg while you eat chicken. Soft breast offered in return for strong shoulder. There are things about your partner that drive you mad with passion. The thrill of seeing an attractive woman flash her embroidered knickers as she bends and stretches is central to the male fantasy. The bust of your dreams for only £29.99!

Posted 9:56 AM by Brian McCloskey
MAY 1998
I don't want to be buried on a cactus. Do not remove backyard fruit. The good old mysterious words of love. This is nothing. The whole idea of love is that someone overwhelms you with their affection and emotion. I just want to be alone with her and hold her and kiss her. The man is on the left of the woman and he is holding a pumpkin on his shoulder. You have thrust your hand into something wonderful his time. Every breath she takes make my heart dance. And what is the big deal about staring at some woman’s breasts? Fishing is complete and utter madness! Has anybody seen my badger? Do they have to be Mexican mice? A young woman in a spectacular hat and a spectacularly low cut dress, with her fingers clasping one nipple. Love is the only thing that interests me. If wearing women’s clothing is giving you a thrill then it’s hardly a sin. You should try it in women’s underwear: it’s unbelievable. The models wear high highs and stockings and sometimes rubber dresses, and they suck each other’s feet. I’ve never had a throbbing like this. When the person for whom your heart throbs longs for you just as intensely. Engage in healthy sex three to five times per week. I persuaded the big ginger cat to sit in my lap and function as underwear. If an American woman bought a pair of suspenders, what would she do with them? You’re traditional, feminine and very sophisticated - and you’re a sucker for a bit of romance. And on June 9, 1989, everyone in Denver would turn to jelly. When she opened her lips, cheese fell out. That was the noblest preposition you’ve ever dangled. I just stepped on your giraffe. Squeeze my breasts! The badgers are inconsolable with dread. Knowing you’re wearing sexy lingerie makes you fell sexy.

Posted 9:56 AM by Brian McCloskey
APRIL 1998
Put the pieces together and tighten them. The greatest thrill ever is to have a woman helpless with joy in your arms. A world without string is chaos. I got lobster and a leather hat. You get lonely when the person you love isn’t around. Eat oranges and live. The number of women getting silk will be a pleasant surprise. When my arms wrap you round I press my heart upon the loveliness. I ache for the touch of your lips, dear. If I see a girl in a short skirt, I look at her legs. But I masturbate three or four times a day by lying on the ground and rubbing up and down. It’s the uniform I would have chosen, if only for the black stockings. I like my parsnips roasted. Crazy with joy because I love you. A dead fish tied up with a ribbon and put in a special box. This needs to be incinerated. This is the story of what happened to me when I died. Less anger more smile. Site of an anvil. Maybe I’ll buy a beret. I feel a flame warming my inner thighs. The fish are really biting. All the best people have interesting chest and bone diseases. Walter Cronkite stayed with my grandfather. Purple tomato gnat mustard. The dreaming tree has died. Grab her, squeeze her, kiss her on the lips. I don’t even like to get this close to cottage cheese. Obviously you’re not a golfer. Who needs a knife and fork?

Posted 9:56 AM by Brian McCloskey
MARCH 1998
All I want is to love you forever. Always wear tights, but avoid fishnets. If I’m not a piece of string or a vole. Look at me my lips are definitely and defiantly upon someone else’s lips. As far as we can determine, peanut butter has no effect on the rotation of the earth. Mainly I just know about possums. We’re about one baboon short of Bangkok. Be still until I put some gasoline lotion on you. I kiss you and I kiss you. You forgot the octopus. He thought eating beans was a crime. Poetry is an outpouring of frustration and love in the desperate search for a purpose. This is not like stockings. Black tights with a flash of red across the thigh like mad suspender tops. Oranges smell lovely when they burn. We are both quite sensuous and enjoy giving and receiving pleasure. The tuba’s caught fire again and no-one looks surprised. Honey, your stocking’s hanging down. And then have a sweet, passionate kiss. Why are you washing socks anyway? It is a dog. Can I just massage your thighs while you eat? All the shyness, doubts and delicate hesitations of first love. I do want a settled life of togetherness and foreverness. A man who stares at a rock must have a lot on his mind. A time for kissing and a time for not kissing. One employed exotic lingerie, mostly to pursue husband! The cat’s wearing my cardigan. Don’t kick the baby. We’re all lesbians in this town. The piano was excited - so excited because she didn’t have to masturbate for the first time in a long time!

Posted 9:56 AM by Brian McCloskey
FEBRUARY 1998
To the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach. Young women wear short skirts. One in 10 men wears stockings and suspenders under their business clothes every day. Girls in bras and knickers waving ribbons. What if that duck has friends? I really liked her breasts. I thought sexy underwear would be the perfect gift. I have never been kissed or hugged or made to feel special. I don’t have much to offer you except all my love. She’s there in the bedroom, with her stockings. You may savour with delight her glorious breasts. You arouse a passion in me that I have never experienced before. I have prayed for the day when our love would bring us together again. And there’s a fiery glow dangerously close to her panties. The crows have made it much clearer. The bishops are becoming restless. We bought bras. Come on, Nancy, put your best dress on. Kissing at an awkward angle. Some idiot hijacked a flight of stairs. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; for love is sufficient unto love. Now women hold up half of the sky in China. How come you know all the good numbers? The answer to the practical problem as more of the thigh became visible. I just have my toothbrush. But on closer inspection it proved to be only a breast. The dog definitely lives. Do you know the difference between a cow and a cabbage?

Posted 9:55 AM by Brian McCloskey
JANUARY 1998
Something sexy, something spiritual. The first time you are naked with a girlfriend is bound to be a nervous occasion. A celebration of the intense happiness small, shared pleasures can bring. I wanna hold you naked. I thought you might wanna snuggle. Nobody would see me cry and then I would go and break my heart somewhere. I use anticipation because it’s one of the most erotic aspects of sex. Behold the master living lover. Cynicism, nihilism, sarcasm and orgasm. How warm do you like to be in bed? Nice and smooth, although I prefer more shiny thighs. Still just a potato. Rhythmic tasks become associated with a feeling of sexual anticipation. How was your journey from Finland? In search of Nancy and the True Story. The more I like a girl, the more nervous I get. Offering to spend your life and raise children with someone is the most important promise you’ll ever make. When I plugged her in she just blew up. A cat got sick, and somebody shot a duck, but that’s it. I held you and kissed you and tried to keep you from flying about the room. Make love in bed. A smooth, soft, supple thigh peaking above a lacy black stocking. The need to be close turns out to be far more important than the actual physical act. She slipped into her black dress and pulled on her sheer, black stockings. Seduced by her lace stockings. When you fall in love, you can’t stop talking about it. There was nothing else like her, and her uniqueness was the reason for all creation. There is nothing like a kiss long and hot down to your soul. As her dress opened and fell to her feet, he saw her dazzling body suddenly naked. People use cannabis to relax, and have a greater sense of colour and sound. He came here to hurt me and he brought me a box of biscuits.

Posted 9:55 AM by Brian McCloskey
DECEMBER 1997
Suck honey from fuchsia. You know the heart is a very resilient little muscle. I lost control of myself and I behaved like a fool. I can offer no greater sign of trust than to say you are someone with whom I would steal horses. See naked girl menaced by giant python. A golden glow - both inside and out. He wandered in search of happiness and the joy of love. We’re here to suffer, and our profession in this world is to die. Pick out something black and sexy and prepare to do some funky poaching. You can’t hurry an elm. All the dreams he would dream in this warmth of his bed. I’ve always enjoyed studying a new tongue. What if a duck made an omelette? You smell nice, you know. The vibrations would worry a horse. There is a nightmare bandaged on my brow. I am to my beloved as my beloved is to me. Bite the button off her shirt the first time you make love. Are you sure you threw the leaves? Where the pyjamas intersect with the expensive shirts. File me away in your heart someday. She pulls me to her bosom and deposits sloppy kisses all over both my cheeks and tells me how lovely I am. Never in my life have I been so full of love. Aliens stole my badger’s rectum. Can we make love tonight? Consume sound like song. In my dreams I am a beautiful naked rhinoceros kidnapped by dolphins and dragged out to sea. Whatever it is, no onions! I must, I must improve my bust. She kept up a curious kind of writhing. Beautiful like you can’t imagine.

Posted 9:55 AM by Brian McCloskey
NOVEMBER 1997
Yes, I have been to Norwich eight times, but have you a first class stamp? It behaves as a tram. My lips, quivering and dry, bent down to kiss her cold cheek. Except for those stuffed mushrooms. An erotic spectacle on a par with pert nipples piercing thin fabric. I’ve got another appointment which doesn’t actually involve eels. Young women are sexual predators who love pornography and talking dirty. Under your caresses the lips of her sex are swelling up. While you are away, my heart comes undone. The fish represents a better life for both of us. Posed for the great seduction scene: slinky dress, suspenders, sexy scent. A pair of female legs in suspenders, black high heels and ankle chain. She was islanded was fields. Can I kiss you? And how I kissed you then and you kissed me. All thy heart lies open to me. Suggests futuristic thoughts coming from the mind. She was the dream you remember when you wake up smiling. If anything can drive someone to extremes, it’s probably love. Life is for enjoying. When the spinning stops, that’ll be the time to worry. Do you have any rubber walrus protectors? Rejoice with the panda bear who hugs himself. Breathe out, so I can breathe you in. People are like shoes: everybody’s got a mate somewhere. I have seen the top of the mountain and it is good. That doesn't quite explain the potato. Both my parents are remarkable parkers. I couldn't stop thinking of things a square could be. He was in love with her and she with him.

Posted 9:55 AM by Brian McCloskey
OCTOBER 1997
When I hold you in my arms, I don’t really know what I’m doing. Why don’t we just give everybody metal forks? He beheld her quivering alabaster mounds. I feel her breasts in my face. Where did I put the chicken? Can’t choose between the convenience of tights and the cool healthy comfort of stockings? She moaned softly and the sound tore through him, enflaming his own desire until he felt as though his body was on fire. If people want to see a bubbly redhead with large breasts, then that’s fine. Touching the soft fabric of tights and knickers and imagining how they feel close to the body excites him. I want my first kiss to be perfect. I run, I run, I am gathered to thy heart. They have a problem with nipples. The cheese stands alone. You’re not much of a muse, but then again I’m not much of a poet. Naughty nude sheath dresses for evening, with clusters of sparkle obscuring the breast. Could you put on some stockings and rub the phone up and down against your leg? I am not imagining a butterfly. Squirm wildly in a hugging embrace. I can’t wait to kiss your lips lady and caress your breasts. So it’s just a bunch of beetles out for a walk. Breasts will be breasts, thighs will be thighs. She never missed a chance to talk about her sexy underwear. These glamour stockings can be put on or taken off just like tights. I was brushing the dust off the fish. It’s better than fishing lobsters. How lonely life can be, the shadows follow me and the nights won’t set me free. A taste of luxury with a sexy red satin nightie and matching gown. Enjoy the sensual, sexy elegance of this superfine fishnet, lacy garment as it slides over your body like a second skin. I’ve discovered what love is, for the very first time. And love is a thing that can never go wrong. You will never know love unless you surrender to it.

Posted 9:54 AM by Brian McCloskey
SEPTEMBER 1997
For the first time in his life, he caught her in his arms and kissed her. Three beautiful girls would be more stunning than just one. I wish we could watch the sunset and kiss. And the hip thing now is to wear dark stockings. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. So why not show some initiative and draw on your own tights? There’s nothing quite so painful as unrequited love, and believe me, I know what I’m talking about. Excellent day to castrate your bull. The nicest part is just before you taste it. I’m really crazy about you. I favour a good punishing kiss. Don’t write messages on food. The women roam restlessly, feverishly in their underwear, waiting and waiting. I like a bit of lacy underwear. Why are you building a breast? She wasn’t wearing the regulation stockings. You turn to me with a kiss in your eyes. Tights in countless shades with control tops or glitter legs, sheer or opaque. I will feel a glow just thinking of you. Drink tea, make love, take a nap. I spent endless hours daydreaming about what it was like to fall in love, but it just didn’t happen. A beautiful girl - An amorous male - A great weekend. She’s got a silk dress and healthy breasts that bounce. We have this umbrella here so chickens won’t fall on our picture. All the lingerie that a woman could ever hope to own, or that a man could dream of removing. I can die in peace: I have known a great love. Seeing a beautiful woman drop a glove on an ice ring. Now this is what I call a cleavage. The eagle couldn’t say no to my desire. Bring your partner to an incredibly sensuous peak.

Posted 9:54 AM by Brian McCloskey
AUGUST 1997
She doesn’t know how I feel abut her, but whenever I see her I feel guilty. Love crept up behind him just when he’d got used to the idea that it would never happen. Suddenly I discovered a whole new feeling in my heart. A small hole in the ground in a potato field. It’s not too late to find a girlfriend this summer. Sex often makes fools of men and women. Men who fancy her do so because she seems to offer the chance of dirty sex. You're gonna start to have tender feelings for a girl. The power of breasts is the diversity of breasts. I have the fastest turtle in the world. All that connects the two of you is your phantasy. Thank you, Nancy, for that wonderful description of you visit to Disney World. A sense of abandonment and yearning which used to bring bodies together. We have misplaced some extremely important chickens. Oh, love can be so sweet! The true beloved of this world are in their lover’s eyes lilacs opening. Next time you have to give tablets to your cat, pop her in a pillowcase. Everybody needs love and nobody should live without knowing someone loves them. My breasts are ruining my life. Love is a feeling that can only be experienced, not explained. Spiky heels cater to men’s phantasies. I dreamed you were dreaming of me dreaming of you. I sing because my heart is light. It even takes on your normal body heat to give the felling that it’s actually part of your breast. Love is an actual thing. Are you looking for one special relationship? She danced all night by herself in black underwear and smeared lipstick. I want to be happy but I can’t be happy till I make you happy too. All I could do was express my love in six different tenses. Breathe your love is dark inside of me. There’s nothing like a heart that burns.

Posted 9:54 AM by Brian McCloskey
JULY 1997
Step away from the duck. Your lips are constantly under attack. We fight and then we buy each other bowling balls. My constant companion beneath the skirts. All that matters is that both partners find sex loving and comfortable. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl and then boy wins girl back again. I don’t do too well with love. A couple of very persuasive arguments. Yesterday a little leg, today lots of breast. I thought you meant raisin nipple nuts. I didn’t believe I could fall in love so fast. Between men and women there are things which arise. Anything you can feel or touch is better. Look in my eyes and tell me that you love me. I am more shy with members of the opposite sex. He was funny and nervous and strange. Personally, I find guilt very sexy. Lesbian kisses heal. My wife’s a SEX ADDICT - I need a rest. It’s taken us four days to find an idiot. Hens are better than breasts. Miss Y had removed her tights before slipping down her dress, removing her bra and kissing. You’re sweet. I want rampant eroticism and obsessive uncontrollable lust. I cry for the love in your eyes. Falling in love with someone is a very powerful feeling. I went out shopping and bought myself a gorgeous silk basque and stockings. There is someone else out there who can give you the feeling of being loved. Does obsession always end in tragedy? This has been a very successful cake. A man’s life without the company of women is just plain empty.

Posted 9:54 AM by Brian McCloskey
JUNE 1997
That’s gonna be a very famous knife. One for each part of the chicken. It was a treat to see her kissing the horse. I want to kiss her. I am so beautiful I scream with joy. If you’re truly in love, if it’s true love, it will last forever. I don’t really see any point to life besides love. Let’s play a love scene, love scene of our own. I’m shy and even when I speak I don’t think I’m a very interesting person. Looking at large breasts makes men healthier. Bark mulch. Don’t Squeeze Me Till I’m Yours. When I thought the time was right I made my move and kissed her. Breasts are always nice. I either act too shy, or else I want the person to be my friend so much that I act like an idiot. Real life is not having sex at all, but trying really hard and getting rejected. I later discovered those eyes were Mandy’s. Used to enhance the apparent size of the breasts. All thrusting motions of copulation must go. You have nice legs. There is something about two women together. Being attractive is the most important thing there is. When I see her I blush, and speaking to her just isn’t easy any more. As far as lingerie is concerned, men always prefer black and red. I dream about making you mine. Or do you really really love me? Words aren’t enough to express how you really feel. You don’t need diamonds in the bathroom. Bit tight across the bust. I saw my love coming passing by.

Posted 9:54 AM by Brian McCloskey
MAY 1997
Sod the whale and save the gerund. Forget abut it. What is love? You can’t pretend there isn’t still a racy quality, Judith. I would have voted for anything in pink knickers. Do a swap. We put it with some black hosiery. One does not thank logic, Amanda. Her face in every flower, her name in every rose. A gun battle next to a cheesecake factory. I feel if I see her I should speak to her, because she’s special in some way. I love kissing you. I haven’t even kissed anybody. Tossing her beautiful head of lustrous red hair, she pouts. Must never leave her side, will never leave her side, should never leave her side. And then you fall heavily, hopelessly, tragically in love. Learning to love a woman, experiencing sexual passion with a woman. His hands have been coming out from under her jumper. At first her warmth felt good between my legs. There is no badness anywhere as acute as the badness of no woman out in the world thinking about you. I have a good handful of her excellent breast now. You must ask about the chair. Kissing is not a science. All I want is a little love to take the pain away. The legs are starting to mimic the gesture of someone blowing a kiss. My bullock is the champion racer in my district. There are times when life seems not so great but better than anything else. I love a good mollusc. I can still smell the scent of your skin and your words.

Posted 9:53 AM by Brian McCloskey
APRIL 1997
Sea crèche handle eyes. I could guess the form of her breasts. Don’t you like touching my breast? Does the truck perceive the tree? Kiss me kiss me cover my body in love. You’ll never know the fear of losing someone like you if you’re someone like me. I’m gonna hug you and kiss you and then I’m never gonna be able to let you go. I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss. You said this was a giraffe. An extraordinary and mysterious force is making me long for you and I beg you to see me. She doesn’t love me as much as I love her. Have you got any old stockings or tights you can give me? Now it’s time for the perfect kiss from the prefect girl. Stop me before I kill my father again. Woman lying in long grass, wearing translucent black bra and briefs. My table is yellow. Everyone is alone at the heart of the earth and suddenly it is evening. I see my angel for the first time. This gland makes you fall in love. Amanda’s saintly behaviour is a credit to all who know her. No matter how it seems, there is always love. This limb belongs to someone who may still be alive. Many women have larger breasts. But the kiss is also a form of enchantment. The girl has almost stripped, but she won’t take her knickers off. I have a heart for my heart. That exciting sound a squirrel makes when you chase him round a pole. Filthy, but genuinely arousing. At the end of the day the only thing she doesn’t give me is sex. Brian you Irish fool.

Posted 9:53 AM by Brian McCloskey
MARCH 1997
The body becomes dress becomes body. An elephant can hang from a cliff with his tail tied to a daisy. Put your lips to mine with your kiss of fire. If I wasn’t so shy, I’d kiss you. Could my nipples ruin romance? Does Finland swing her hips? These fish have manners. Judy let’s go for a walk, we can kiss and do whatever you want. And I can make a wind chime out of my underwear. Little cashmere sweaters and short black skirts. That’s what I call my socks. Grey flannel miniskirts, over trousers or thick black tights. Desire is mysterious eroticism is intangible. The rest meant nothing to me. In the end Amanda meets a prince of her own. There was a second kiss, in which we pressed into each other, and we knew it had started. Could you make that more of a hug? What’s the big deal with breasts anyway? She wasn’t wearing much other than stockings, suspenders and stilettos. I could hardly believe that was Mandy staring back. What kind of camera is that? I took a class in nuclear chemistry - and I paid attention. I’ll let you feel the upholstery. It does, because you can wear tights. Where does a dead seagull fit in? He murmured as he began to slide his hand deliciously over her breast. There’s nothing more annoying than a cow walking in front of you. The girl you feel most comfortable with and have most fun with is the right one. I never saw true beauty till this night. I was blown up eating cheese. Crikey.

Posted 9:53 AM by Brian McCloskey
FEBRUARY 1997
Every gun makes its own tune. It feels so good to hold you. Asleep, I see her in my dreams: awake I dream of her. She’s a fat man’s dream. Four days later he’s a frozen chicken. I can only help him if he’s damaged his genitals. Being nervous in front of a girl you like is not a problem. My love was begotten by despair upon impossibility. Did Tchaikovsky have to explain his steam engine? We love each other, so we stay together. All his romantic energy folded in upon itself. Let Polly do the printing. The heart wants what it wants. Mandy - the best looking girl I’d ever seen. Stretch out with your feelings. A lion whom love knew how to conquer. You said suspenders but you didn’t say stockings. They call it the slink dress. A pair of very modest, black opaque tights. Heaven is being in love, and the love never stops. She’s the puzzle piece behind the couch that makes the sky complete. Lay across my big breasts, babe. She turned me down but I still love her more than anything in the world. Lyrics use abstract metaphors (plums, stockings). Kissing, kissing, kissing. Anyone who’s been in love knows how difficult it can be. I’m a big tall horny girl. Every inch of my skin is crying for your hands.

Posted 9:53 AM by Brian McCloskey
JANUARY 1997
In the bath on Sunday nights, imagining what it would be like to be kissed. If you really loved me you'd stroke me and keep me clean. Now I get your famous squealing. We see tights being worn regularly on icy winter afternoons. I could love a Chinese girl, an Eskimo, a Finn. Garbage bins would be seventh with ivy to hold your face under a stone. But always be sure to slaughter your chicken first. All geeks harbour a secret phantasy about meeting some girl. This is no place for an entomologist. I think we just became astronauts. You seem to be turning into a bouquet of flowers. In real life we don’t hear music when we kiss. We have three kinds of mice here. Judith was aware of her noose as a separate entity. Beware of Man Behind the Door. Mandy, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking. I’d like to know what love really sounds like. How many postcards had to die to make that shirt? Excitement is a girl. Being in a public place without shoes and waking up one day to find out I have three nostrils. Like fire to the heart and earth to the flesh. Edith has a duck coming nicely to the crisp. It’s true that anyone can fall in love with anyone at all. I’m in the mood for a little vivisection. I wouldn’t miss you so much if I didn't love you so much. The next step in hosiery. Only people with utterly perfect bottoms may wear them. Lingerie, sex toys, lesbian pornographic material. Amanda is a very bright, intelligent, creative person. Two hungry sharks in a world of unlimited halibut. The heart asks first for pleasure.

Posted 4:05 PM by Brian McCloskey
DECEMBER 1996
I’m getting old and I feel alone and I want to feel less alone. Fish heads that look like famous people. And a dozy cuddle with the one you love. Very short skirts, white lace stockings and pantomime boots. A single glimpse of shining hair - the bright shock of a girl I’d never know. Walk around in the dark and feel the women. Flesh stretch lace girdle with suspenders. That was a comical parrot. I’d be love and sweetness if I had you. A sign that she is lifting her skirt, taking down her pants. Find somewhere to stick that in my herb section. And a topless lady I once found wrapped in my fish and chips. But you can’t illuminate a candle with a mouse. Anybody who really cares will abandon you. My pyjamas don’t cover the butterfly. Remember Earth clearly. That might work for wooden Americans. I don’t know if these mashed potatoes are really here. I think I’ll buy a calendar. I’m sure I’m going to love being married to Judy. Walk like a turtle, dance like a worm. There’s an old carpet lying outside the crematorium. You thought of an elephant in Denmark. And that’s where the monkey comes in handy. I’m going home to put a cross in the sprouts. Women with hairy armpits move into trees. Like a whelk walking into a cave. I’m in love with a girl who has just broken my heart. I guess my life isn’t worth two kisses. The fork is on the dinosaur. Heartbreak is more painful than any other pain I’ve known.

Posted 4:05 PM by Brian McCloskey
NOVEMBER 1996
This is the time for dreams. If you really want to kiss her, just go right up and tell her. Life is pain: get used to it. If you would let me hold you, I wouldn’t walk away. Are you a pig, Amanda? That exquisite belly against my neck? His trout were stinking. My body says love me tonight. I advise you to use all your ears in the correct sequence. If it doesn’t snow I think I’ll put in a few broad beans. He brought me a purple sombrero and a little guitar. Why not sing with a wooden leg? We are but visitors on this rock. And you don’t even know I’m looking at you and I want you so much. Sometimes I just want to be held. I am absolutely in love with you. I needed you to love me so that I could leave you. We must be dreaming. The world is full of complainers. The Earth mother won’t let me do experiments. What’s your favourite humming noise? His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe. I love you I think you are beautiful. Why can’t I find Amanda? She is my heart’s delight. He’s happy to be a sandwich. I didn’t have anybody but I had you. That would be an ecumenical matter. Your gentle love turned my life around. The life of Brian is one long round of sex and drink.

Posted 4:04 PM by Brian McCloskey
OCTOBER 1996
I only get five? She wanted to look pretty and romantic so we gave her something long and flowing. Every waitress has the same proportions. Nothing is left of me each time I see her. This picture proves I have a washing machine. I treat horses good and. I needed an inflammable animal. I thought he said he was an elk. There’s this girl that I really like and I think about her all the time. Black, straight shining hair down over her breasts. I have it teased by a weeping widow. Kissing with tongues works best if you start gently exploring your partner’s mouth. Songs don’t have to be about despair, but despair must be prominent. Please take my hand please give me a hug please kiss me. A woman spending a lot of money on a silk and lace camisole that she alone will see. As we went about in the stormy heat. Nobody’s gonna spoil us. Can you get your buttocks off my tongue? Do not move let the wind speak that is paradise. Every time I see a female I imagine her undressed. I’ve got a buffalo at home. You’ll never be hurt again because you’re permanently stuck with the pain you know. Open up, I love you, I adore you. I have accepted the loss of everything. I’ve got to find myself a girl tonight. I carve this heart for dear Leona. They both like to pick up skirts. I’d invite you to my death, but we don’t know each other that well. That’s why you left me by that tree. Tomorrow may loveless, may lover tomorrow make love. Will a life be considered worth living if it’s not recorded?

Posted 4:04 PM by Brian McCloskey
SEPTEMBER 1996
All I’m interested in is love. I hugged and kissed Judy. The excitement and anticipation of the first kiss. The reason black tights have lasted so long, after all, is because they flatter the leg. Thanks for the use of the hall. It’s a lot cuter if your monkey hasn’t just died. Flower of love: kiss the kisser. A legend won’t let you down. These are the words that are in the poem that I wrote. You know how I long for you: My heart grows strong for you: Will you please be mine? Go kiss the cute red-haired girl. Would you mind running the wand over me. You really want to kiss me right now, don’t you? It is miraculous that one does not melt in one’s bath. If love is not all, then it is nothing. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Running off with nice Miss Jones. I think I’ll just lay here and ponder my stupidity. A world of first class hotels and mildly kinky sex with improbable lesbians. Bubbles come out of all our heads. Mandy said it has long been her ambition to take part in the event. I wasn’t arguing; clamped myself firmly to her breast. He just substituted one fish for another. Love must be passionate, even if passionate love does not last. I saw a fella make a peanut disappear once. The day I met her is the day I stopped being alone. My life’s a shambles: I need pie. Who is that girl with red hair? I have someone to cuddle with. Toilet paper’s always very funny to everyone except the French.

Posted 4:04 PM by Brian McCloskey
AUGUST 1996
I’ll be a very, very fat pig. A kiss has always got something to say. Marvellous pigs in satin. I am a fool who wants to kiss your beautiful face. My girl is calling me. My lips went and I just followed. Personally, I’d rather have one true kiss. As you feel more comfortable and excited gently part their teeth with your tongue. Do not pretend you are kissing her when you lick the envelope. Lovers know that love is everything. A lot of people hate this hat. I think this is the rabbit. I’m a little black woman in a big silver box. My skirt fell down to my ankles - but I had on thick black tights. I am still living with your ghost. Is it the king approaching? Would you like to see an elephant? I am not ashamed to let you know that I love you so much. You just wished him a spicy pasta. A scantily dressed young woman is being handcuffed and threatened with a sword. I’ve dreamed of the moment that I would hold her in my arms. I let myself fall deeply and completely in love with her. Ladies, the moon is on its way! My present girlfriend, Amanda. The cheese is old and mouldy. The correct answer is Finland. Think about nothing at all but the kiss you’re kissing. If only that rampant, hormonal woman next to you would leave you alone. Am I not also Mrs. Blow? I can pretty much name any flower I see. The bat suspended from Leona’s hairdo was repulsed by her Nuit Blanche perfume.

Posted 4:03 PM by Brian McCloskey
JULY 1996
That’s a nice hat. Serenity can only be achieved by a mind which is in total despair. Whatever happens, let’s keep loving each other. If your wife is old and your member is exhausted, eat onions in plenty. Every day we have is one more than we deserve. A man fell on Jude. I’ve grown so close to you. Be for love I love you and. Those are good eyes. Or else she called you a small grapefruit. You took my heart in your hand with a friendly smile. In our hearts we are close to one another. Play your salmon wisely. But I knew that Mandy wouldn’t see immediate results. Love, let us be true to one another. You licked and you put. I’m not sure if it was a nipple or a hippo. It seems as if I will never meet someone and that I’ll always be lonely. Everybody needs someone, but I need you. Almost as if there were four different types of cheese on it. That wasn’t a simple matter of mistaking a prostitute for a giraffe. There are things that a cow shouldn’t say. There’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be than here with you. I’ll take them shelves. I’m a gorgeous woman and I have big beautiful breasts. I’ve never seen clutter like this. Beneath your dress, your body is like music. Was that a fist? First you have to find the right person to kiss and experiment together. My heart just belongs to you. I’m hardly concerned about doorknobs.

Posted 4:03 PM by Brian McCloskey
JUNE 1996
One day he decided to try sewage. Sometimes love just dies. Let’s get home before we burst into flames. Little old ladies keep asking him what to do with their gooseberries. You are simply kissing in different ways at the moment. Do I bare my legs or go for heavy black tights? I’d like the last two slices please. I disagree with everybody who disagrees with me. I am tired of living and scared of dying. I can’t remember my eyes. I may be nuts, but I love this bridge. There is also a lovely story about a shoelace. All the clumsiness and incoherence of true love. My knee tells the weather. More music from sexy German films. I’ve got a low pain threshold in love. All I ever do is look at balls. Those damn Gideons. Rejection kills, disappointment only maims. You must have a really wide foot. What’s the silliest hat you’ve ever bought? The spirit will not Descend without Song. Secret heart, what are you made of? Get the damn gorilla on now. In his bedroom clothes are always neatly folded. Do you want your cucumber bruised? To lose someone you love is complicated as well as terrifying. Your face always makes me better. Can you believe that guitar? I’m in love with the person I think I’m in love with.

Posted 4:03 PM by Brian McCloskey
MAY 1996
If one kissed you, you’d think you were dreaming. Granary loaf. Are you gonna make me thump? I’m thinking of the ways of keeping you warm. The ghosts are on the run. He must have been very bored. I’ve always dreamed of living in a fish bowel. A woman needs to be loved and cherished. The song that made you fall in love with me. What are the three kinds of dirt? If you love someone you will make them into what you believe them to be. What Judith wants, Judith gets. I was attacked by an egg today. Caravans and lots of jam. Baffled in wonderment at the love he has discovered. It’s been years since a stranger bought me salad. Why are you beating up the bathroom? I’m not a pound of sugar, I’m a primatologist. He’s got a considerable cushion. Insistent, driving, surging, rhythmic organ. The philosopher rushes in to announce that his monkey is stuck behind the radiator. We had a soft spot for Amanda. If the bosom is creamy and voluptuous, she will inherit a fortune. Thank you for a day of too much perfection. Under cover of an accordion. And love is a thing that can never go wrong. He hacked away at her knickers. It’s not like I’m putting little nipples on them. You'll probably need a special stocking. And touch the hearts of all people with your love. In each kiss one senses every other kiss.

Posted 4:03 PM by Brian McCloskey
APRIL 1996
And anything orange is you! I’m glad I’m not a daffodil. Why don’t you throw some love my way? I only understand you as far as wanting to look. A kiss on the cheek is more complicated. This is way too easy. Come on in and we’ll drink your clothes. If you smile, it is to enfold me all the better. Me pulling a can off some moron’s fist. Immediately I was quite fearful for my chickens. And I kissed her toe a number of times. There’s water down there, and some ugly things. Pure love bra. Who is your floor? Wear the sexiest, flimsiest, most outrageous underwear you can find. Make friends with girls and in time one will want to be your girlfriend. Is this a breast enhancer or some sort of perverted alien? If you’re a girl, I hope you’ll be feminine. The key is to get the second set of horses. I spend my time memorising your pretty face. For a long time people had a tendency to put their arms around me, or kiss me. Grass might drink a million pints of Finnish lager. The person you meet might be the love of your life. A kind friend should set fire to his trousers. My mouth on your sex is not enough. Eight got eaten by my two dogs. Someone’s red head being scraped with a thing. You know that I have loved you long and dearly. And what happens when I touch her? You’re being a little weird about your phone.

Posted 4:02 PM by Brian McCloskey
MARCH 1996
I invented the bloody bag. It hurts not to be wanted. Potatoes that play the bagpipes. What’s your name? Amanda, you leave the skin on the chicken. This is why I wish I was an elephant. Can I have a dress or a skirt? It’s more hygienic in bottles. Who’ll offer me the love I crave? Look at me. Go upstairs and kiss the ghost. There are no grammar schools in Wales. I think I just fell in love with you all over again. Looks like the daughter is the other way round. And the squirrels keep my blue clothes warm. Everyone needs someone, I just need you. In a kiss there is love. Under the chocolate coin of the sun. My wife lectures in bra and knickers. Anticipating kissing is scarier than doing it. Humps for 130 metres. Apparently you have to take your stockings off with your teeth. My bum’s in the custard. My love is burning me down. That’s the leg of honour and glory. We’re just hanging out by the spoons. Choose the word which best describes your pain. You find women sexy and attractive, and you want to have a girlfriend. This isn’t my laundry. The circle is not round. Compared to obsession, all other love seems humdrum and mundane.

Posted 4:01 PM by Brian McCloskey
FEBRUARY 1996
My heart is breaking for a little love. I love you to bits. The girl that I adore, I can’t kiss her no more. Legs are it. If you are in bed with Mandy. Be nice to the product of your loins. We wish you’d never left, Mandy. Mandy is an affectionate nickname. There are overweight firemen all around. Not just the usual bunch of flowers. Even then, you could see Mandy was cut out to be an actress. A gorgeous naked woman steps into her bedroom and slowly, teasingly, puts on sexy black underwear. You know a lobster? Still would we kiss and kiss for ever. No love be granted to him who hates all love. I love you every minute of the day. My heart beats for you. I broke my heart with weeping. I had never seen a sausage that shape or size before. I love you but I’m all alone. I’m really paranoid about the shape of my head. If you want to be happy for a month, kill a pig. And pictures of two Scandinavian teenagers having sex. A strange woman kissed me. Women have to be softly touched. I love you and I want you more than anything in the whole world. None of you can hold a candle to my stuffing. It’s as smooth and silky as a knee. Did the brown bowls come in yesterday?

Posted 4:01 PM by Brian McCloskey
JANUARY 1996
Another heart won’t gladly take your place. Amanda, to say that you are obsessed with make-up is an understatement. Even skinny people’s legs rub together. People who hardly touch each other can still be in love. We got a box. Isn’t it sad when bad things happen to good sentences? Brian is the root of goodness. Kissing is a lovely thing. If only she wasn’t wearing those black stockings. The plastic right leg, dressed in a stocking and black shoe, was found in a street. Hard core black tights go with anything (and hide your legs!), but they’re not really cuddlesome. Violets - how precious on a mountain path. Everything from the bum down has to be dark, says Amanda. I find you very attractive, and a little bit sad. The little girl with red hair. Grab your pole and put your canoe in the water. Listen to other people make love in your bed. Glass will cut glass. I honestly don’t have one - Winona Ryder. I only want to be able to hold somebody’s hand. Take the brown hair and blue eyes. How separate and unearthly love is. Sheer tights will never be as cosy as opaque ones, but they will keep out the worst of the cold. I sat by her side, and forgot - forgot. Shyness with women has plagued me all my life. You could grow tomatoes in my hair. That’s my left breast again. Boys can be very cruel about breasts. Isn’t life too short to stuff a tulip? Please curb your lint. You’re too busy studying feet at that time of day.

Posted 3:59 PM by Brian McCloskey
DECEMBER 1995
And she’s a woman of startling proportions. I will certainly kiss you with my goodbye kiss. Don’t touch me; I’m made of tiny fish. A deadly weapon under leather. I am a simple person and I dream about simple things. Let me help you put those tights on. Somewhere in this city there is a very cold horse. I’ll buy you a pair of black tights as well. A cod landing on a desk is bloody difficult. How do you get a cow to balance like that? I need someone who isn’t someone else’s. Looks like I picked a bad night to wear tights. What I really want is to be with you. I am using this fibreglass leg form to measure these tights. Like an angel you were, my light in the darkness. Would it be different, if I wore a black dress? Even planets need shoes. Being a gentleman means making a woman feel like a lady. We're talking about whipped fish. Are you going to be sneezing all night? Bring your body to my room wrapped in an elegant dress. Amanda’s banana disappears in record time. I remember nothing so vividly as kissing you. I’ve got to learn how to kiss or it will stop me going out with girls. A beer with Amanda, but never more than one except at Christmas. A rather shy young man who has known few encounters with physical love. Your name is Judith, your kiss is a sign. No-one shall I love with heart but you. And then I start rubbing the shoe. I think you’re also the sandwich. Maybe I’ll gain some weight and grow breasts for you. Thanks for risking your life to save my underwear.

Posted 3:58 PM by Brian McCloskey
NOVEMBER 1995
And here on the right is the girl of my choice. Follow a new route in the search for Judith. And then there’s a single, sweet kiss. Why don’t you play the water balloons? I broke my husband’s finger just to get over a bridge. At least now I know what it’s like to have kissed you. It’s comforting to have somebody to love. We have to hug someone for a whole minute to improve our lifestyles. And eagerly I’ll kiss thee in a dream. You might to think of it as the east buttock. And capacious, flowing skirts. We are united by all the ties of love that we hold most sacred. I feel like an overgrown banana. Going crazy about someone can be unbearable if it’s not reciprocated. To realise how much you feel for someone can bring huge sadness because you then live in fear of losing them. The uncontaminated breasts of a female companion. You’ll be excited to hear that I’ve got my breasts out as well. Don’t stop until you find someone who loves. The other six are about jelly. But could you send me some kisses anyway? We’re rehearsing a Greek play. Girls can hug and kiss each other. Come and drown in my lavender bosoms. Then I think I should have a kiss. It’s not a formation terribly popular with skunks. With a mouth full of kisses and a beautiful smile. Love is...surprising her with flowers. Dear Mandy, I know this sounds really stupid but what is oral sex? Suddenly I’m subjected to the entire history of the internal combustion engine. I always knew I’d be loved one day.

Posted 3:58 PM by Brian McCloskey
OCTOBER 1995
Amanda - long - long have I tarried to drop this tear upon your tomb. Did I dream you dreamed about me? Love me all at once or I shall die. Stroke my velvet pole. I just can’t picture me with anyone for the rest of my days. Kisses with dreams in them. Because I only got your hat at the airport. You think about a girl who doesn’t know you’re thinking about her and doesn’t even care if you are. The woman had charmed the organ out of his body? A question that is unrelated to either underwear or breasts. And he pulls out this ceramic frog. I stand by my lover and she stands by me. I’m surprised there isn’t a sleigh behind you. Is this a giant frog? Your uncle employed me to look after his sheep. Nurses in naughty underwear. Who shot the couch? My nose is the nose. How badly those flowers are drawn - not a bit like violets. There must be a costume, some breasts, some rustling, and over all, discretion. Boys do tend to get a bit obsessed about breasts occasionally. Love is a universal migraine. There was once an elephant - it was in Belgium. At least we can feel we’ve done all we can for Amanda. I still carry your words here in my heart. Sometimes I enjoy poetry and potatoes at the same time. Didn’t want to frighten the dog. You feel rejected, inadequate and unloveable. The corned beef is in the fridge. Love is all around her, she wears it like a jewel. Amanda, his wife, into Buddhism.

Posted 3:58 PM by Brian McCloskey
SEPTEMBER 1995
We just want to talk to you, Amanda. Blood once ran red over your blue metal. It takes a sexually excited man to make a chick sensual. Is this seat taken? Promise me I can have your face when you die. This is the best dental experience of my whole life. A chap who’s got an unidentified brick. The only breast I’ve ever touched is my own. I call and call but your name is lost. I think you’re so incredibly beautiful. There is no right or wrong way to kiss, everyone’s kiss is different. I found myself thinking about her more and more and wondering what it would be like to kiss her. You start warm, you stay warm. He’s chewing a squirrel! Amanda is someone who lives entirely in a dream world. The first kiss went better than you could have hoped. I miss your lips. Her breasts balloon: the sky opens inside them. Each nose is gonna look like two little dots. And one really bad kiss...and one amazing one. Must’ve been a gorgeous pram. Monday, never Friday, is the day to send flowers. Don’t kiss anyone unless you want to. And it’s all because of her long red hair. Courting is a pleasure between my love and I. I will wait here, dream of you. The turkey means nothing to me. We’ve been blowing kisses to strangers in the street. I want you to know I’ll always love you. I want you to touch me, I want you.

Posted 3:57 PM by Brian McCloskey
AUGUST 1995
All men are transvestites. The next day somebody, for the first time, kissed me. I am fall down and expose my shocking to man and female woman. Well smack my ass and call me Judy. Empty toothpaste tubes on satellites. So when are you beating the shit out of Amanda Jones? An aeroplane driven by a girl. Loving too much is a lovely and dangerous thing. The toaster doesn’t lie. I’d like someone to adore me that much. She kept bringing swordfish. A kiss is a rose is a rose is a rose. I think I preferred the eight balls. Promiscuous defecation is dangerous and should be discouraged. What is it that never stops? And she kissed me with the kisses of her mouth. Being sorry won’t bring back my knocker. I use my breasts to get other people’s attention. Without the apples, you race of gods will grow old and die. A silk coverlet among Judith’s clothes. I hugged this llama. And I was thrown out of the window of a brothel in San Francisco. The last thing I wanna think about is shrimp. When you are young and in love, you do daft things. My days are dogged with flowers. I don’t quite know what happened to Emperor Jones. Romance will freewheel without problems. Avoid black tights - they pose the question are they stockings or are they tights? She took the pyjama from the priest and kissed his hand. Get out before it’s too late, Amanda. I met a gorgeous girl called Mandy.

Posted 3:57 PM by Brian McCloskey
JULY 1995
The privilege of being able to hold a woman and tell her that I love her. I’m terrified of toilets and I don’t know what to do. She’s so easy to love. Kissing you is not enough for me. Can I keep you? You shouldn’t be doing that to a chicken. How sweet it must be to be loved by one woman. Can you work late, Judith? We love to hang on to our pain. The cuckoo in the woods cries out my love’s name. I’m gonna kiss you slowly all over. I love you...I can’t breathe, it’s making me ill. A shopping trip or two to the sales looks imminent and may not leave much time for romancing. I’m trained to swallow all sorts of things. An orange is an ideal place for us to quarrel. Tell me it’s never too late to die of love. I have a funny song about a wanton fish. I have to tell you that Mandy’s a strange girl. I’m alone, and I need to love. I also like looking at pretty legs in floaty skirts. It’s like having two souls at the same time. It makes me happy to suffer for you. It warms my heart just to look at you. What a funhouse mirror is love. Now I’m in love and the woman rejects me. Can you eat the herring? What’s so special about me? Her long unfolding leg is a little tremor of rapture. A man so painfully in love is capable of self-torture beyond belief. I was thinking of jumping up and down on an orange. Love at the lips was touch as sweet as I could bear.

Posted 3:57 PM by Brian McCloskey
JUNE 1995
I do find it difficult to talk to her and I get embarrassed when she is near me. And I didn’t know I loved her till I’d dreamt of her. May all your dreams come true, the way mine have with you. How do you keep the one you love? How’d the little lady like the watch? Somebody get me that Jones. I pray that I may win her heart, and be forever with her. Nighties, nylons, beautiful dresses. Look on me and be merciful, for I am wretched and alone. I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. Or is it the black tights? It took me years to swallow all that glass. Parts of me are scattered all over the world. He’s sad because he’s in love. Don’t love me so much, please. I do everything I can to treat you like a rose. Bite the wax tadpole. You told me you loved me, you told me a lie. She has the eight ugliest dogs in the United States. Men are so seldom given flowers...particularly by a lady. This is as far as I go. We make garments that are standing on themselves. It’s not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late. Judith says that she always felt she had the quality of a muse. I’ve been thinking a lot about that sock. That’s all there is to love. You are the highest honour of your race. We are promiscuous women. I miss the voice that called my heart. Even when you really love someone you can’t make them love you back.

Posted 3:57 PM by Brian McCloskey
MAY 1995
My testicles are super! A lingerie shop without a front window. Even her freakish nipples are akimbo. I’d love to have a girlfriend. Maybe it’s because I’m Irish. One more thing is true - I love you. Very gentle nuzzling and pressing of lips can be pretty hot. The scent of roses always reminds me of her. Long, flowing skirts and chunky boots. And I know I’m never going to have a girlfriend. He received some roses from a young lady. Like soft love that makes life delicious. The saint who loved Mandy no matter what. I’m useless and I know it. Obsessional love is painful. This is a serious waste of a Wonderbra. A lady is a nice thing. And its tail would stand waiting in Edinburgh. The shoes are a signal. Fingers frisking bras. You’re dying while you’re breathing. You just suck the area of skin as though you were giving a huge widemouthed sucky kiss. Our yaks are really large. A very vivid character with a fish in one hand and a lewd gesture in the other. Nylon stockings less real than silk? Women can see breasts any time they want. I’ll dream of when I last kissed your eyes. I’ll expect you tomorrow in a skirt. Anything that made the breasts bounce up and down. Don’t change, the right girl will love you. Now we sit with a goose between us.

Posted 3:56 PM by Brian McCloskey
APRIL 1995
And I remember sitting under the piano one day. I’m sunk in despair so oppressive I can hardly breathe. An unashamed celebration of romantic love. And trying to forget unrequited love can be even harder. I’ve never kissed anyone and no-one has ever said they loved me. An expert on the agonies of obsessive, unrequited love. There just aren’t enough words to tell you how I feel about you. She suddenly put her arms around me and tried to kiss me. The slithery contact of tongues, the surprising click of teeth. What have you been doing with Mandy’s hairdryer? Going for an upmarket 29p Galaxy choc egg was Mandy. Taunts have broken my heart. You want her because you can’t have her, don’t make yourself miserable about lost love. Life is unfair to me. If you’re not in love with me I’m going home. I know it’s uninspired to offer roses to a young lady. Loving someone unattainable is a way of protecting yourself from being hurt. A kiss, one kiss, then let me die! I know I’ll fall in love with somebody wonderful some day. It’s frustrating not having a girlfriend. It’ll be too late to buy a toaster. I think love is great, I think love is lovely. Those ears could be a little longer. I can’t deal with anything that involves mucus. A sad who little drip who can’t get a girlfriend in real life. A woman of mystery and beauty and fascination. I linger close to your mouth. Love is the most wonderful feeling that exists. I want to sit on your skin and enjoy myself. Can I offer you some of these fine roses?

Posted 3:56 PM by Brian McCloskey
MARCH 1995
When you cross those legs you got legs. This is rain, by the way. Just looking at her makes me smile. Romance leading to love leading to love leading to yet more love. Everybody at heart wants to love and be loved - it’s a fundamental need. One lingering kiss says it all. Only the dragon was from without. Love me and the world is mine. Definition of fish: the only animal that keeps growing after it’s dead. I think you said it best to the walls. Without you, there didn’t seem much point. My idea of pure hell is travelling with a goat. How will I ever get a girlfriend if I’m this ugly? Wishing to be kissing you, but unfortunately I can’t. Wear larger pants and buy suspenders. The heart is more devious than any other thing. Love who you want, when you want. In our society, everyone is entitled to a doughnut! Give him a rose, he makes a poem. I dream of falling in love. Singing stupid songs about you and thinking about you all the time. Sensitive boy needs a girl in a flowery dress. That Love is all there is, Is all we know of love. I know that she likes me, but I am too shy to ask her out. I am ugly and awkward and I always say the wrong thing. Male and female looking for that electric moment. You’re a lovely girl, Mandy. If you’re a girl you can be my best friend. We must love one another or die. Do you wanna go down and meet the lesbians? I’ll be making my debut as a pig.

Posted 3:56 PM by Brian McCloskey
FEBRUARY 1995
The strawberry isn’t working. These sticky buns are just heaven. Everyone tells you sex is great fun. My sweethearts, let us speak simply of romance. The quality of shoes has decreased. Where’s the bare lady you promised I could see? First you drop an olive and then I sit on my hat. You feel nervous and would like to kiss her but aren’t sure how. We are good at kissing. I wanted her robes to be more erotic. You can’t gain eternity with a cow. I am deeply in love with a certain beautiful girl. I haven’t touched a tree in twenty years. We associate a bunch of red roses with love. A heart can only be given. I use him to hunt moose. He apologises with roses. I adore the feeling of your lips as they brush gently over my skin. The man wouldn’t know a decent grape if it jumped up and bit him on the behind. All I want is a hug at the end of the day. Yesterday I was grass, today I’m milk, tomorrow I’m breakfast. We should be asleep now in one of our many cuddling positions. An orgy of wickedness in which all the instincts are given free rein. Scanty beachwear is best confined to the beach. To write, to fall in love and to experience real passion. I realise just how much love she needs. She has to be pieced, ‘cause she fluffs. There is much for Judith to puzzle over.

Posted 3:56 PM by Brian McCloskey
JANUARY 1995
There is no joy for me without Helen. And girls can top them up with a pair of white tights and a short skirt. Romance is passion, imagination, beauty. It’s kind of nice to kiss a woman. The more relaxed he is, the faster the woman transforms into an angel. I was wondering if you would like to be mine. In case you hadn’t noticed, I have a crush on you. I’m a strong believer in young love and gratitude. Consuming all the women like a giant sponge. That’s the short version of Mandy. You don’t understand that I want you, that I need you. An unborn baby doesn’t know what shops are. I wanna lick some navel! And of course my electric toothbrush. This is an experienced mouth. Go ahead and be scared. I’ll show you how small my potatoes are. I can have this romantic love last forever. Her biceps are said to be formidable. I have it displayed in a very prominent position. You made me act like a fool over you. A mixture of pale compassion and grim curiosity. Can you hear this on my tongue? I’m a mere mortal: all I can offer you is my heart. Now I’m left to face the world broken hearted and alone. I have twelve different kinds of cheese in my pants. Judith, I do the coupon just to get away from you. Love does not come to an end. I believe those are hips. I think Judith’s point of view is very valid. Without her love, I don’t exist.

Posted 9:10 AM by Brian McCloskey
DECEMBER 1994
H is for hat. There wasn’t a bra in the field. During a job interview. She has a strong heart: she wants to live. Jumping up and down in a very amusing way. There will be one romance and it shall last forever. I am a very shy, quiet person and it’s ruining my life. It turned out to be just an old egg in a tunnel. If I have to be in love with you then you have to be in love with me. I really do like your hair, honey. Just a kiss and a strong desire to see you again. I’m being reborn as a hoover. I think I’d feel better if I could kiss you. I’d just stay at home and play with my breasts all day. A mad elephant jumps gleefully up and down. Or a bap on the other side of a goldfish? You just keep unfolding like a flower. Love is all that I can give to you. I could get used to this. I’ll sneak up on you when you least expect it. I find your eyes deeply captivating. A really long sheep in the lounge. Love, the heart of the one containing an infinite source of life for the heart of the other. That doesn’t look like a towel. She smiled and stood close to me; she even touched me. It’s me you want, me - Mandy! They whisper to each other and then cry. What’s so good about Edinburgh? I felt all these feelings for someone who didn’t feel them back. I kiss only as a prelude to passion. You have an impossible nose.