by Brian McCloskey
And she’s a woman of startling proportions. I will certainly kiss you with my goodbye kiss. Don’t touch me; I’m made of tiny fish. A deadly weapon under leather. I am a simple person and I dream about simple things. Let me help you put those tights on. Somewhere in this city there is a very cold horse. I’ll buy you a pair of black tights as well. A cod landing on a desk is bloody difficult. How do you get a cow to balance like that? I need someone who isn’t someone else’s. Looks like I picked a bad night to wear tights. What I really want is to be with you. I am using this fibreglass leg form to measure these tights. Like an angel you were, my light in the darkness. Would it be different, if I wore a black dress? Even planets need shoes. Being a gentleman means making a woman feel like a lady. We're talking about whipped fish. Are you going to be sneezing all night? Bring your body to my room wrapped in an elegant dress. Amanda’s banana disappears in record time. I remember nothing so vividly as kissing you. I’ve got to learn how to kiss or it will stop me going out with girls. A beer with Amanda, but never more than one except at Christmas. A rather shy young man who has known few encounters with physical love. Your name is Judith, your kiss is a sign. No-one shall I love with heart but you. And then I start rubbing the shoe. I think you’re also the sandwich. Maybe I’ll gain some weight and grow breasts for you. Thanks for risking your life to save my underwear.