by Brian McCloskey
And I remember sitting under the piano one day. I’m sunk in despair so oppressive I can hardly breathe. An unashamed celebration of romantic love. And trying to forget unrequited love can be even harder. I’ve never kissed anyone and no-one has ever said they loved me. An expert on the agonies of obsessive, unrequited love. There just aren’t enough words to tell you how I feel about you. She suddenly put her arms around me and tried to kiss me. The slithery contact of tongues, the surprising click of teeth. What have you been doing with Mandy’s hairdryer? Going for an upmarket 29p Galaxy choc egg was Mandy. Taunts have broken my heart. You want her because you can’t have her, don’t make yourself miserable about lost love. Life is unfair to me. If you’re not in love with me I’m going home. I know it’s uninspired to offer roses to a young lady. Loving someone unattainable is a way of protecting yourself from being hurt. A kiss, one kiss, then let me die! I know I’ll fall in love with somebody wonderful some day. It’s frustrating not having a girlfriend. It’ll be too late to buy a toaster. I think love is great, I think love is lovely. Those ears could be a little longer. I can’t deal with anything that involves mucus. A sad who little drip who can’t get a girlfriend in real life. A woman of mystery and beauty and fascination. I linger close to your mouth. Love is the most wonderful feeling that exists. I want to sit on your skin and enjoy myself. Can I offer you some of these fine roses?